What a child needs is... significance, security, acceptance, love, praise, discipline and God When we are preparing to enter the role of parenthood we are bombarded from all directions with what we must buy, what courses we must attend, how best juggle work and home, etc…It can all seem a little overwhelming when we hold our son or daughter in our arms for the first time.  Before we know it, he is ready for nursery school we have already “survived” the formative years of development!…but has he? Lets look at what children really need to develop into complete people, well adjusted, confident caring individuals and our role as parents to help them achieve this: SIGNIFICANCE…the need to be noticed. From birth, infants find out that if they cry this wonderful familiar face and caring person arrives takes them into their loving arms and she tries her best to solve the problem…change a nappy, breastfeed or bottle feed or just comfort. As your little one matures if they do not feel noticed and feel important they will demand attention even through bad behaviour!…Negative attention from parents is better than no attention at all. How often have you heard a parent saying in a despairing tone…”Oh do stop whining!” or “do eat up quickly, we have to go now…”  How to build a sense of significance in a child… If you as the parent have a sense of self worth, you will convey a sense of worth to your child. Let your child help around at home. A small child can help with the tiniest of chores and reap the sense of worth from being helpful.  Introduce your child to others by name, it helps to make him feel important. Let children speak for themselves. From a very young age they have their own thoughts on what they like and don’t like. Do you speak for your child all the time? This undermines his self-respect? This signals to the child, that he is insignificant and not qualified to speak up. Give the child the privilege of choice when possible. With pre-schoolers this might mean the choice between wearing the red or blue t-shirt. Simple limited choices give him a sense of worth. Spend time with your child. If parents do not take time with their children, children will take time from them in unpleasant ways such as whining, fighting and other angry behaviour.  A telling thought… A small boy watched his father polish the car. He asked “Dad, your car’s worth a lot isn’t it?” “Yes” his father replied. “It cost a lot. It pays to take care of it. When I trade the car in, it will be worth more if I take care of it. After some silence the son said, “Dad, I guess I’m not worth very much, am I?”   We build a child’s sense of self-worth when we take time to listen to our child’s concerns, when we drop the newspaper when the child speaks, when we look into each other’s eyes when we share. Dereck Jackson, a psychologist well known for his parent workshops at schools in the Johannesburg area  says “When teenagers who were having problems at school were asked what they wanted from their parents the answer was inevitably “more time with them”……….” In What a Child Needs Part 2 we will look at “Children need security”…  if a child... If a child lives with criticism,                       He learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility,                         He learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule,                           He learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame,                           He learns to feel guilty.  If a child lives with tolerance,                       He learns to be patient.   If a child lives with encouragement,                           He learns confidence. If a child lives with praise,                           He learns to appreciate.  If a child lives with fairness,                           He learns justice. If a child lives with security,                           He learns to have faith.  If a child lives with approval,                           He learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,                           He learns to find love in the world. by Dorothy Law Nolte Email this article to a friend Back to Articles on Child Care...