Does Your Child have a Sleeping Disorder? It’s a well-known fact that sleep deprivation has been used for many centuries as most effective torture !!! Yet, countless families endure this on a daily basis. Sleep is vital to our physical and emotional well-being – it seems like a miracle that parents manage to function throughout the day with precious little of it!! How often do we hear a plaintive wail of distress from moms and dads, (no, not the babies this time!) when they talk about the sleeping habits of their little angels ! Help is at hand – follow this simple guide, and, with a few lifestyle and attitude changes, your little “terror” will become the “angel” you so long him to be !! It’s important to understand the ‘pathways of sleep’, as this will give you a clearer understanding of why you are doing sleep training in the first place!! Very simply put, sleep is divided into a ‘light’ or REM (rapid eye movement) state;  or an ‘inactive’ or NON-REM state. The inactive state of sleep is when we sleep ‘soundly’;  and this stage ranges from the intermediate or ‘drowsy’ stage – into a deep sleep. This whole cycle lasts from about 55 – 90 minutes. There are different ways to handle very small children  (under 6 months old) and children older than 6 months.  Most babies under the age of  6 months are usually crying for a very real reason, and sleep training must be undertaken  in close consultation with your sleep therapist.  For the purposes of this article, we are going to deal with the situation where the child is older than 6 months. Sleep disorders in this group of children essentially fall into 2 different types, namely: The child who won’t go to sleep at naptime, or bedtime;  and  who will only settle if  mom  lies with  him, rocks him to sleep, drives in the car, or when he is  allowed to fall asleep ‘where and when he collapses’, which could range from the couch, to anywhere in the house!  He then sleeps for the whole night through, often sleeping till late in the morning. The child who goes to sleep without any fuss, but wakes continually during the night, demanding a ‘crutch’ to go back to sleep. This ‘crutch’ could be a bottle, dummy, the breast, rocking or mom lying with him. This happens literally every hour on the hour. This child is unable to go back to sleep on his own after each sleep cycle, and quite obviously needs help in order to do so. With the child who won’t go to sleep on his own, there are 3 very real issues that parents have to look at. The first is your child’s DIET:  colourants and preservatives and excessive amounts of refined sugars can cause your child to become very ‘hyped – up’. Try and avoid any foods containing these additives from lunch-time onwards. Eating supper too close to bedtime may also give them a feeling of fullness and discomfort. The second is your child's DAY TIME SLEEPING HABITS. Try and remember that ‘SLEEP MAKES SLEEP’. A baby from 6 – 12 months, should still be sleeping at least 4 hours in a day, divided into 2 – 3 sleeps;  and a toddler from 1 – 4 years, should be having at least 1 hours sleep during the day. Don’t let your toddler sleep past 4.30 pm. A well-rested child will be quite happy to go back to bed. The third is your child’s ROUTINE. A toddler who has had a hectic afternoon, a rushed supper and bedtime routine with music blaring , the TV on, and mom on the phone, whilst trying to cook supper – is definitely not going to be calm and compliant at bedtime!! Plan a very definite QUIET TIME from 5 – 7 pm.  This should be the time that you are busy  with the bath-time routine, supper and quiet playtime after supper. Be CONSISTENT WITH ROUTINE.  This will teach your child to identify the ‘triggers’ of bedtime (bath, supper, drink, bed).  Have supper in the same place every day, (not in front of the TV!), perform bath rituals calmly and with little horseplay; and, Dads, PLEASE don’t hype up the kids when you come home from work!!  Rather spend the time, reading a story, doing a puzzle, sitting in the garden, or  quietly  talking and interacting with your baby. Avoid giving baby the last feed for the day in front of the TV, or propped up in the kitchen while you are making supper. Close your curtains early, and create a ‘cosy nest’ in which the children feel secure and safe.  Lighting 2 white candles is most effective, as children respond  tremendously to candle light.  (Beware those toddler fingers with the flame !).  At bedtime, be FIRM, and CONSISTENT – a toddler will do anything to delay the inevitable, and will invent a myriad of excuses as to why they don’t need to go to bed NOW  - persevere!!  Perform  a nightly ritual of a goodnight kiss and hug for mom/dad/maid/dog etc, brush teeth, toilet (or clean nappy), and into bed - HAPPILY AWAKE - a quick story, and a firm and loving GOODNIGHT.  You then leave the room. If your child is not used to being left alone, you will have to go back at regular intervals to reassure and settle him. Try and increase the length  of time before going back  in  each time. The trick is NOT to waver at all, and revert back to the “crutch” in order to get him back to sleep.  Your toddler will soon learn that this is the boundary that you have set, and will respect and honour that. With a baby, you will have to stay in the room and reassure him for a longer period of time.  Avoid picking him up.  Rather pull up a chair alongside the cot, and place your arm through the bars, firmly patting him and reassuring him in this way. It is vitally important to remain calm and focused at this stage. Any anxiety, impatience, irritability or anger that you are experiencing whilst sitting there, gritting your teeth and patting away, will be transmitted to baby, and you are wasting your time! Colour therapy is most useful in this instance. Close your eyes, and visualise a flow of PALE GREEN flowing from you into your baby. Practice some deep breathing too. Once baby is asleep, you leave the room. Repeat the exercise as soon as he wakes again. If you are trying to ‘wean’ yourself away from a child/toddler who is used to you lying with him, you need to do this exercise. Explain lovingly and firmly that you are not going to lie with him anymore, but will sit with him to start off with. Be sure to tell him that you have no intention of sitting with him forever!!  A bit of bribery and corruption at this stage works wonders!  Over the next few nights, gradually shorten your stay with him, until he feels secure in going to sleep on his own. This will take about 5 –7 nights, the 6th night is often the worst – don’t give up! With the second type of sleep disorder, where you have to teach your baby to go back to sleep on his own, the basic principle of  CONSISTENCY must be adhered to. Set yourself a realistic goal of  a week to sleep-train, and focus entirely on this. Remember, what you do for the day sleeps, must be carried through into the night routine. When your baby wakes for the first time crying for the ‘crutch’, go in quietly and place you hand through the cot bars, and gently and firmly pat him on his back , constantly  putting his head back on the pillow. You will have to keep this up until he goes back to sleep, no matter how much  he protests!  Throughout the night, this same procedure will have to be repeated.  Life will be a lot easier if you sleep on a mattress alongside the cot for the duration of sleep training. This will also take from 5-7 nights, and again the 6th night is also the worst! It’s at this time that your resolve falters, and you think “what the hell, anything for peace” and revert back to your old habits!!  PERSEVERE!!  It’s important to think long-term at this stage, and rather fantasize about how easy your life is going to become after this difficult time. Believe it or not, your baby will soon learn that his emotional needs are being met without the ‘crutch’, and he will be able to resume his sleep cycle without waking up. DIET  is also extremely important in this instance. Consult your sleep therapist to ensure that your baby’s diet is adequate.  Remember, babies from 6 months old need protein in their diet. OVER STIMULATION  is also an area to watch. An over stimulated sensory system, battles to ‘wind down’, and therefore the sleep cycle is interrupted, resulting in fitful and restless sleep, and the child waking up with the slightest noise. Quiet time is also very important, even for a baby. ROUTINE plays an important role. The baby will begin to recognise the ’triggers’ of sleep, and will respond accordingly, resulting in the inactive stage of sleep being reached quicker, and a ‘sound’ sleep ensuing. This baby will have no problem “self regulating” himself as he comes out of  his sleep cycles. SLEEPING IN HIS OWN ROOM – silly as it may sound, an adult moving in and out of their sleep cycle, can disturb a child sleeping in the same room (especially one not sleeping ‘soundly’). Think about moving him to his own room. WORKING MOMS – we all feel guilty not being able to spend more time with our little ones, and we are inclined to over-compensate during the night because we feel ‘guilty’. Don’t be fooled – you know how you feel being so sleep-depraved yourself, - imagine how your little one is feeling? You will be doing him the best favour in the world by allowing him to have a good nights sleep. NOTES RESCUE REMEDY:  4 Drops in a little water given during ‘quiet time’ , and  the ‘neat’ solution gently rubbed onto the wrist and temples is most effective in preparing for bed. LAVENDER OIL:  1 Drop of oil in the bath water. Avoid using over the counter medications, as they often have the reverse effect !! It is important to maintain your sense of humour;  remember, there is a family unit to consider too, and to talk about your fears and insecurities with your sleep therapist. Your sleep therapist will adapt a ‘plan of action’ geared towards your specific needs, and will counsel the whole family, and provide on-going support.  GOOD LUCK !!!                                  For more information visit www.babysense.co.za Send this article to a friend Return to Child Care Articles...